The trouble with winning vs losing language 🌱

I’ve been called a loser before (by myself and others) and it never feels good. But losing at what? Why does it sting so bad? The belief that life is a competition has led to so much stress and violence (again, against ourselves and others) and it really pisses me off that we’re in this place. Competition is so very masculine, patriarchal, and non-cooperative. Sure it can be healthy when everyone is good natured, consents to compete, and plays fairly, but those circumstances are so rare (which is probably why I enjoy the competition context of board games with trusted friends so much).

Sadly the language of competition is everywhere and I feel it gets in the way of building a more connected and cooperative mindset. Why such the thirst for winning? Why so dismayed at losing? If we attempt something and it doesn’t work out we had to have known that was a distinct possibility.

We need a language for outcomes that isn’t so deeply tied with feelings of self worth and our place in society. Things don’t go the way we planned, and that’s ok. We’re human, we make mistakes, and our self-worth shouldn’t be contingent on the accuracy of predicted outcomes.

🌱 (This note is a seedling, if you want it to grow, wither, or be pruned in a different direction let me know!)